The Presidential election season seems to sneak up earlier each time. It is starting remind me of Wal-Mart putting Christmas decorations up in July. Let me have Halloween First! Soon we will see conflicting TV advertisements from people we hardly knew existed, until they wanted money and votes from us.
Since we are going to start election season early, we need to start having those difficult conversations; Who should be the next inhabitant of the White House? I have been thinking a lot about who I think is the best candidate for 2016, and only one name comes to mind. I would like to share with you my choice for president in 2016, Eris, and five reasons why you too should vote for her.
1. She knows where her shit goes. Aren’t we tired of politicians that just shit on everyone? Eris is fully potty trained and knows not to shit on those who support her.
2. She knows about hard times. Never a silver spooned hound, Eris came from the pound and appreciates what this country, and its citizens, have given her. No more holier than thou politics from politicians that have never longed for a raw hide. She believes this country should be run by dogs that know what real dogs go through.
3. She is devoted to keeping our environment clean. A lover of dog parks, Eris understands what these green spaces mean to the puppies of the future. She would pass strict poop cleaning legislation and has started a campaign called, “Walks over Wheels” to encourage everyone to leave their car keys at home and just take a sturdy leash.
4. She might not be a dog show champion, but she is a champion for dog rights! Coming from an unknown heritage, Eris knows what it is like to be treated differently because of her looks. She believes dogs should be judged on their merit and not their breed.
5. Finally, are you tired of politicians that make Americans look like asses in foreign policy? Eris is a friend to many cats, birds, and other creatures from around the world. She would ensure dogs maintain their “man’s best-friend” privileges, while not offending any crazy cat ladies.